Talbot Clayton

Pepper August Lemaine (known by their family as Talbot Quinn Clayton)

04/15/1997 - 11/04/2025

This week we said goodbye to my human and my best friend, and I want to share them with you because I think they were pretty awesome. I was their cat, Pomona, and they were my everything. They rescued me, even though I was kind of broken, but then so was Pepper - together we tried to heal each other while sharing the things that truly matter. Pepper taught me how to be a good cat, and I let Pepper know they were the best human I've ever known. Pepper taught me that hot wings were the very best food, and that Pepper's lap was the very best place on earth. I heard Pepper tell many silly jokes, do lots of voice impressions (Christopher Walken was a particular specialty), make groan-worthy puns, and sing every day (often at the top of their lungs). I know I'm just a cat, but in my opinion, Pepper had a pretty good voice.

I loved seeing how much Pepper cared about animals. And I never saw an animal that didn't adore Pepper right back. When Pepper was only seven years old and still kinda scrawny, they confronted some bigger neighborhood boys because those boys were throwing rocks at the ducks in the canal, and Pepper couldn't stand to think of those ducks getting hurt. Pepper's Golden Greek tortoise, christened Fred-George Weasley (whom, sadly, I never had the privilege of meeting), kept Pepper company for many years when they weren't allowed to have dogs or cats in their apartment(s). Pepper probably drew a thousand pictures of "Freddums" during those years. I've seen some of the drawings; I know I'm just a cat, but in my opinion, Pepper was a pretty talented artist! Pepper also cared about people, even though sometimes they had a hard time knowing exactly how to show it to those they loved. Pepper loved animals so much, they sometimes acted like one - usually a porcupine, or maybe a poison dart frog -- because they were so afraid reaching out or experiencing human contact would be painful or disappointing. And while Pepper liked people to believe their heart was the size of the Grinch's before he visited Whoville, anyone who paid attention knew that Pepper's huge heart leaked out of every part of them. Pepper showed me what it means to be loved and valued, and they helped me see that none of us should be defined only by our past. I hope I helped them see that about themselves, too.

Pepper told me lots of stories during our time together. They told me about their mom and dad, Amy Landerman Jonkhart and Arjen Jonkhart, and about their sisters, Marley Landerman (Brady Parrish), Saskia Jonkhart, and Marielle Jonkhart (Joshua James) in the Salt Lake Valley; and about their half-brothers Brian Gardner (James Bronoske) in Washington and Joel Clayton in St. George. Pepper loved them and their families dearly - especially Pepper's only nephew, Ozzy James Parrish. Pepper loved being an uncle and a sibling, but I know they loved Marley the very best and most of all. Cats just know these things.

Pepper had a lot of extended family who loved them, too. Pepper had many aunts and uncles on the Landerman side - Heather Swafford (Terry), Mark Landerman (Shabnam Khan), Kristen Grimshaw (Jeremy), Erin Harding (Jesse), and Drew Landerman (Clifton Wright); and on the Clayton side - Christina Christiansen, Heather Baker (Hugh), Kesler Clayton, and Allyson Clayton Smith. Pepper also had about a million cousins! I'm not sure I can keep them all straight, but Pepper mentioned cousins Kennedy and Jordan; Skyler, Kenya, and Zayn; Tate, Owen, Grady, and Roscoe; and Grace, Sam, Jonas, and Georgie. Oh, also Jacob, Eli, Matthew, and Ava; Ashley, Caitlyn, and Michael; Ben and Gabe; and Zachary and Brianna. (Whew! That's a whole lot of love.)

Pepper had some wonderful grandparents who cared a lot about what happened to them and did their best to help, both when Pepper was small and later in their life. Pepper wasn't always great at showing gratitude, but I know they loved and appreciated their Grandma Janet and their Grandpa Dick, and they remember their Grandma Jaye. Pepper missed their Grandpa Vinnie and was really glad that they got a chance to say goodbye to him at his funeral in 2019. And you won't believe this, but Pepper had relatives all the way in the Netherlands! Pepper will be missed by their Omi and Opa Annelies and Martin Jonkhart and by their Om Servan, Tante Nienke, and cousins Chenaux and Annabel Jonkhart.

Pepper's best memories were from time spent with those they loved. Pepper's friends told Amy that Pepper was kind, generous, smart, and funny. These friends said Pepper knew their physical body might intimidate some people, so they worked hard to stay calm, be gentle, and not frighten others. They said Pepper loved movie nights (the cheesier the movie, the better), game nights, and D&D marathons, and they said Pepper loved playing the consummate host for friends. Pepper could tell you anything you ever wanted to know (and then some!) about Spider-Man (the comics), Herbie the Love Bug (the movies), or the Titanic (the ship, not the film). Oh, and Pepper also quite liked something called Bioshock, but if you ask me, that occupied my human's hands for too long and took away from valuable kitty-skritching time.

On Pepper's last day on earth, their only concern was that I be taken care of and placed with a loving family. Even Pepper's last message to their mom mentioned me and reiterated how much they hoped she would "find Pomona a good home." I was so sorry to hear that Pepper lost their battle against despair, and that the daemons Pepper wrestled with finally won. I know that Pepper's suicide wasn't born out of a desire to hurt anyone who loved them, but was merely Pepper seeking an end to their suffering. I wish Pepper could have recognized how many people cared about them and loved them. But I also know this world does not make a whole lot of room for people like Pepper, and that ultimately, they felt leaving it would be easier than continuing the struggle. I'm not angry about that - I'm just glad Pepper's finally at peace and no longer in pain.

Pepper's final wish was to be an organ donor. Pepper's perfect heart and lungs, their liver, and their kidneys were generously given to save five other people's lives. I'm also told that the tissue Pepper donated (such as corneas, bone marrow, and skin) will help change the lives of at least seventy (70) people! (To use a Pepper-ism from when they were little, "Holy crap cow!") I know Pepper will forever be a superhero to those recipients and their families. Ultimately, Pepper's compassion for their fellow humans was bigger than their pain; their final act one of pure love and selflessness. Their kindness and generosity will live on through every heartbeat, every breath, and every life they saved or touched. Pepper's choice to donate earned the deep and abiding respect of their entire family, who could not possibly be more proud. (I know I'm just a cat, but in my opinion that's a pretty good legacy to leave behind.) I'll miss Pepper greatly - we all will. But we all take some solace in knowing Pepper is now enjoying some well-deserved rest and recognition in Valhalla (either there, or Funkytown - it's not entirely clear).

In Pepper's honor, please tell a ridiculous joke, sing a song, do your best Christopher Walken impression, grab some hot wings to share, play a game or watch a terrible movie, tell your family and friends you love them (frequently!), hug them tight, do something to help another, be good to animals, and open your eyes to the wonder and the struggles of those around you. Be kind, always - especially to trans folks, just like Pepper would. CHECK THAT DONOR BOX on your driver's license. (And do Pepper and others like them a big favor and VOTE BLUE.)

Pepper will be cremated by McDougal Funeral Home on November 18, 2025. There will be a celebration of Pepper's life at a later time, at which we'll tell funny stories and bad jokes, we'll eat some hot wings, we'll laugh a lot, dance to Funkytown, and miss them together. Thank you so much, Pepper. You were the best human I ever knew. With love and kitty kisses, Pomona.